Finally There is Clarity… This Tiny Life is Making Sense. And Every Drop Numbs the Both of Us, But I Alone am Staggering
I mentioned this in a previous post, but I am taking some continuing education classes right now to learn MS Access. The Access database that I work in for our receivables website was built by a person no longer with the company. The individual who managed the database before me now works in Treasury and hasn't run the upload in two years. So, you can imagine her surprise when we had to call her a few months ago when the database needed to be adjusted due to our customer changing one of its websites. No one else knew how to do it, and she had been more than happy to forget (it is a very meticulous, drawn-out process). So, the Big Boss Lady and I decided that it would probably be wise if I went and took a few of these classes since I work in Access weekly and someone needs to know how to fix it if and when it goes down again.
So, starting last Friday I began taking one-day seminars on the ins and outs of MS Access. I completed the "basic" course, and I am signed up through "advanced." After that I am moving on to Visual Basic. I am pretty excited about these classes, or at least for the information I am/will be learning from them. Even during the basic class my head was spinning with all kinds of ways I could apply this tool. The potential is wide open. Plus, since few people really know how to work Access, it is a skill in high demand, especially for "experts." This is for sure a talent that I am interested in developing. On top of it all (nerdily enough) I also think it's fun. Yes, I am a geek.
I'm taking these courses at the local community college, conveniently selected in Fort Collins so I can avoid the commute to Denver for at least a handful of Fridays. Once I stepped on campus, I realized how far removed I am from the current college-aged crowd. Some how it all crept up on me, no matter how hard my efforts have been to stay "hip." During my last few years of school I was what they call a "non-traditional" student, so I know what it is like to different, but this time I really felt like I was out of place. I seriously lost count of how many times I heard "I was sooooo wasted" in the hallway. The first few times were funny, then nostalgic, and then sort of pathetic. I mean, I could have shared with them how my wife and I had plans that weekend to finish re-modeling our master bedroom and bath, but I would have just came across like Frank the Tank in Old School. The difference, however, is that I am happy to have moved on. Don't get me wrong, I had a whole lot of fun those three years of my first attempt at college, but I am more than happy to have moved on. Those were not just years of me being wasted, but years I simply wasted. I don't regret the indulgences that I pursued, only that I pursued very little else during that time. Once I removed myself from that situation and gained some perspective on my life, I realized that I am someone who needs continual growth. I cannot tolerate stagnation, whether it is in my personal or professional life. I needed that change.
Sure, I miss the freedom of those years and the idealistic notion that the world was wide open to me and my desires, but I wouldn't go back. I am happy with who I've become and the progress I've made since that time. I still like to have fun, but I make sure to temper it with positive growth as a husband, father, professional, human being, and most recently as a home do-it-yourselfer. The master suite is coming along well. Once we are finally finished I am going to get soooooo wasted...
So, starting last Friday I began taking one-day seminars on the ins and outs of MS Access. I completed the "basic" course, and I am signed up through "advanced." After that I am moving on to Visual Basic. I am pretty excited about these classes, or at least for the information I am/will be learning from them. Even during the basic class my head was spinning with all kinds of ways I could apply this tool. The potential is wide open. Plus, since few people really know how to work Access, it is a skill in high demand, especially for "experts." This is for sure a talent that I am interested in developing. On top of it all (nerdily enough) I also think it's fun. Yes, I am a geek.
I'm taking these courses at the local community college, conveniently selected in Fort Collins so I can avoid the commute to Denver for at least a handful of Fridays. Once I stepped on campus, I realized how far removed I am from the current college-aged crowd. Some how it all crept up on me, no matter how hard my efforts have been to stay "hip." During my last few years of school I was what they call a "non-traditional" student, so I know what it is like to different, but this time I really felt like I was out of place. I seriously lost count of how many times I heard "I was sooooo wasted" in the hallway. The first few times were funny, then nostalgic, and then sort of pathetic. I mean, I could have shared with them how my wife and I had plans that weekend to finish re-modeling our master bedroom and bath, but I would have just came across like Frank the Tank in Old School. The difference, however, is that I am happy to have moved on. Don't get me wrong, I had a whole lot of fun those three years of my first attempt at college, but I am more than happy to have moved on. Those were not just years of me being wasted, but years I simply wasted. I don't regret the indulgences that I pursued, only that I pursued very little else during that time. Once I removed myself from that situation and gained some perspective on my life, I realized that I am someone who needs continual growth. I cannot tolerate stagnation, whether it is in my personal or professional life. I needed that change.
Sure, I miss the freedom of those years and the idealistic notion that the world was wide open to me and my desires, but I wouldn't go back. I am happy with who I've become and the progress I've made since that time. I still like to have fun, but I make sure to temper it with positive growth as a husband, father, professional, human being, and most recently as a home do-it-yourselfer. The master suite is coming along well. Once we are finally finished I am going to get soooooo wasted...
posted by john at 10:38 AM
2 Comments:
I completely understand what you were feeling! In my ripe old age of 30, I feel like an old bag when I step onto campus. I have consistently thought of myself as "the university age" for quite some time, and then I realized that they wear their pajama bottoms outside, they have writing across their asses on their pants, and the primary aim in life is to, as you say, "get waaaasted". I feel dinosaurously old in their presence, and also pretty damn good that I can be mistaken as a lost student in the halls.
*funny aside... the other day I was talking in class to my teens, and I made some comment about how people don't understand "our" generation. I just about passed out the minute those words fell out of my mouth. I actually grouped myself together with gossipy teens without realizing it. Amazing how age sneaks up on you and punches you in the balls.
Yes, I also fail to understand the whole "pajamas as pants" thing, especially when combined with a pair of huge pink fluffy slippers. But that, along with everything else, is done solely so we don't understand to make the generational gap line even more distinct. When you start asking yourself "WTF?!" that is when you know you are no longer in the younger generation.
Another big tip off for me was when the local alternative station started having "back to the '90s" weekends where they play "throwback tracks" from the last decade. Back to the '90s. I am getting old.
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