I Got No Reason to Turn My Head and Look the Other Way; We’re Good and We’re Evil, Which One Will I Be Today?

So, I haven’t posted in awhile because I’ve been kinda down lately. First, my cat disappeared over two weeks ago, which pretty much came about from me being a bonehead and locking him out (see previous post). Then a culmination of other errors followed, including one of the sort that you anguish about days later wondering how in the world you could have been such an idiot. So, I have been pretty much wallowing in my own self-pity trying to sort out the existential question of whether or not I was an inherently good person who made dumb mistakes because it is a part of human nature, or if I am an inherent screw-up who is striving to be a good person, but keeps making mistakes because it is in my personal nature that I can’t escape.

I haven’t slept that well lately. I haven’t hiked in two weeks (although I did spend two lovely weekends with the family instead), and I have spent the past few days in a somewhat mild depression going over and over in my head how I can try to turn things around and make up for my blunders. Luckily, they can be made up, but it will just take a whole lot more work than if I would have just done things right the first time around. What really bugs me is how someone like myself who is typically very rational and level-headed could make such rash decisions and screw things up so badly as a result. Don’t worry, it’s not anything major. I didn’t get arrested, commit adultery, gamble away my life savings, or anything like that. It is simply the kind of thing that you would hear and say, “yep, you were a bonehead.” And that really bothers me because I don’t like to consider myself a bonehead. However, recent evidence has pretty much pointed in that direction.

Then yesterday evening I got a phone call. Apparently a neighbor just saw a flyer that the girls and I hung up a week and a half ago regarding our missing kitty cat. He apologized for just now seeing it and calling, but a cat that matched that description has been visiting him on and off for the past few days. He said he is really friendly and likes to come over whenever he and his wife are outside doing yard work or whatever. He just thought that he was a neighborhood cat since he looked healthy and well-fed. Then he saw our sign and gave us a call to let us know to not give up hope and that next time he saw him he would try to catch him and give us a call. The girls were very excited to get that news.

This morning I was getting dressed and grabbed my cell phone and saw that I had a message waiting. My neighbor had called late last night to tell us that he had our cat and to give him a call anytime to come pick him up. So, before work today I called and went to meet my neighbor’s wife to get our kitty. They literally lived right around the corner, a few houses down. If he was that close why didn’t he just come home? Anyway, she was out in her garage with him in her arms and I knew right away it was our cat. She said he still looked well-fed (he is a BIG kitty) but I could tell he had thinned out a little. He also got in a scrap with some kind of animal because he had a big scratch down the side of his face. But it was him, no doubt about it. I walked him back home and both girls were in the front yard waiting. As soon as they saw me coming down the street with him in my arms they both started yelling cheers of joy. We brought him inside to his food dish and he must have been pretty dehydrated because I think he drank water for at least 5 minutes straight. Then he went around the house sniffing, purring, and rubbing everything with all signs indicating that he was happy to be home. My other cat, though, was not as thrilled as she hissed at him when she first saw him. I think she was enjoying having full run of the house and getting all of the attention as the only cat in the family. Oh well, I think she’ll eventually come around.

So, right now I am still grooving on the feel-good vibes of getting our cat back. I still need to pay penance for my recent bonehead mistakes, but I now have this little reminder to not give up hope. After being gone for over two weeks, our cat has come back to us. Things can still turn around, even if you have long written your chances off. There is always hope, even for a complete screw-up like me.