We Carried You in our Arms on Independence Day, And Now You’d Throw Us All Aside and Put Us on Our Way
Is there a Fourth of July in England?
The answer to this old riddle is of course there is a fourth of July in England. It’s a trick question. Every country using the modern Gregorian calendar has a fourth of July. Now whether or not they celebrate American Independence Day is another question. I was deeply pondering this when I began to wonder why we call it “The Fourth of July” other than the obvious reason of what day it falls on. The official name for the holiday is “American Independence Day” but you rarely hear that term kicked around unless it is advertising some kind of used car or mattress sale on TV. We don’t call any other holiday by the day it falls on (hey, better buy a turkey for the big “Fourth Thursday in November” feast!) so why do we do it for this one? I mean, we hear every year about the alleged “War on Christmas” and how the name of that holiday has been co-opted and changed to disguise its religious origins, however, no one seems to care that the true nature of this holiday is being co-opted as well. Where are you uber-patriots??? Some one call Fox News! There is a war going on faithful readers and it is being waged against the very birth of our beloved nation! It is happening right under our noses. First they make fireworks illegal, then they start changing the name of the holiday, and the next thing you know they will make pounding down a bunch of good ol’ American brew with your buddies then driving to the fireworks display where you will puke and then pass out before they even start illegal as well! This is a wake-up call my fellow Americans. Stand up for your independence now before they take it away. Wave that flag that you falsely believe Betsy Ross designed, slam a Budweiser, shoot bottle rockets at your neighbors, and for sure ask everyone you hear wishing you a “happy fourth” why they hate America so much. It’s up to you to keep this holiday sacred from those who wish to destroy it. It’s what George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Chester Arthur would do. Me? I’m gonna spend time with the family, grill out some food, watch some fireworks, and read some newspapers, legal documents, and/or commercial contracts all tax-free thanks to some brave, forward-thinking heroes who liked to dress up and dump private property into the harbor. You should, too. Happy American Independence Day everyone!
That is, unless you're Canadian, in which you can ignore all of the stuff above and have a happy belated Canada Day (before they start calling it the "First of July")!
The answer to this old riddle is of course there is a fourth of July in England. It’s a trick question. Every country using the modern Gregorian calendar has a fourth of July. Now whether or not they celebrate American Independence Day is another question. I was deeply pondering this when I began to wonder why we call it “The Fourth of July” other than the obvious reason of what day it falls on. The official name for the holiday is “American Independence Day” but you rarely hear that term kicked around unless it is advertising some kind of used car or mattress sale on TV. We don’t call any other holiday by the day it falls on (hey, better buy a turkey for the big “Fourth Thursday in November” feast!) so why do we do it for this one? I mean, we hear every year about the alleged “War on Christmas” and how the name of that holiday has been co-opted and changed to disguise its religious origins, however, no one seems to care that the true nature of this holiday is being co-opted as well. Where are you uber-patriots??? Some one call Fox News! There is a war going on faithful readers and it is being waged against the very birth of our beloved nation! It is happening right under our noses. First they make fireworks illegal, then they start changing the name of the holiday, and the next thing you know they will make pounding down a bunch of good ol’ American brew with your buddies then driving to the fireworks display where you will puke and then pass out before they even start illegal as well! This is a wake-up call my fellow Americans. Stand up for your independence now before they take it away. Wave that flag that you falsely believe Betsy Ross designed, slam a Budweiser, shoot bottle rockets at your neighbors, and for sure ask everyone you hear wishing you a “happy fourth” why they hate America so much. It’s up to you to keep this holiday sacred from those who wish to destroy it. It’s what George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Chester Arthur would do. Me? I’m gonna spend time with the family, grill out some food, watch some fireworks, and read some newspapers, legal documents, and/or commercial contracts all tax-free thanks to some brave, forward-thinking heroes who liked to dress up and dump private property into the harbor. You should, too. Happy American Independence Day everyone!
That is, unless you're Canadian, in which you can ignore all of the stuff above and have a happy belated Canada Day (before they start calling it the "First of July")!
posted by john at 1:19 PM
3 Comments:
I found it a little ironic that I brought in this year's independence day getting my buddy drunk enough to puke at his bachelor's party. A male tradition that celebrates a man's last gasp of independence in his life.
it's funny you know, we ALWAYS call it canada day us canadians
even the quebecois that hate canada call it canada day because well, that's what it is.
well technically it's dominion day but who's counting?
LSD - A bachelor party on Independence Day? How apropos. I myself didn't have a traditional "guys only" bachelor party. However, I did get rightly smashed the night before the wedding. All of our wedding guests were from out of town so we ended up having just one big party: guys, gals, friends, family, everyone. I hear I had a pretty good time...
Sass - I think the issue here is that by calling the holiday "Independence Day" it actually requires someone to do a little thinking about history, which here in the US is generally shunned (though, apparently not as much as thinking about the future). So, in order to avoid that tiny bit of unpleasantness, people have decided to just call it the "Fourth of July" instead. That way they can imply that they know that something important happened on that day, but aren't necessarily required to know what it was or anything about it. Perhaps if we called it "The US Ttly Rulz! Day" then everyone would call it by its rightful name. But unfortunately we once again lacked the foresight of our Northern neighbors, and are forever doomed to a confusing holiday moniker because of it.
But either way we do get to watch things explode, which is always cool. :-)
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